There has to be a better way ...
It's 2015. Self-driving cars are already amongst us and IBM has an artificially intelligent machine named Watson that can perform 160 hours worth of medical diagnosis in just seconds. But for some odd reason, people are still choosing to drink what we like to call "old-fashioned" coffee. We're not referring to the brewing method here (for the record, we love the very old-fashioned French Press), and we're also not referencing the incredible cocktail from the Pourhouse in Gastown (you have to order one of those). When we say "old-fashioned" coffee, we're really emphasizing the "old". As in, decidedly un-fresh, stale and in the worst case: pre-ground.
When you bought your last bag of coffee, did you check for a roast date on the package? Did you happen to see where it was roasted? Did you buy it in a large tin can for what you might call a "steal of a deal"? We really hope not. That's because there really is no longer a need for you to buy old, stale, pre-ground coffee that was treated as a commodity from the moment it became part of the company's business plan. But it's not all bad news. Things are looking up. That's right, Vancouver, the future of coffee is here. It's local, it's fresh and it tastes pretty f#cking delicious. Even though it's modern, it's still without AI and it will not be delivered by an autonomous vehicle named HAL. In fact, what we're doing here is actually pretty honest and transparent. We patiently wait for you to place your order and then we roast a 1kg batch of Cameroon Boyo Arabica Typica green coffee beans just for you. Quicker than you can say Nkongsamba, your coffee will be packed and ready for pickup.
If you want to pickup the freshest f#cking coffee you've ever sniffed on Wednesday, go ahead and place your order online by Monday at noon. If you'd like to bask in the glory of freshly air roasted coffee on Saturday afternoon, place your order online before noon on Thursday. Either way, you'll be leaving the tin can to rust.
The third best part about this straightforward experience is that 5% of the sale will go directly back to the Goliath Frog Conservation Project happening in the Nkongsamba region of Cameroon. The second best part is that we minimize our collective carbon footprint by removing shipping from the equation (especially if you take your bike). The very best part is that you're also supporting the livelihood of the dedicated small holder farmers that make up the Hilltop Farmers Group (aka Cameroon Boyo).
Ok, one last thing: your sixth bag is always free. For real.
What are you waiting for? Place your order today and get Goliath in your cup.